On March 9, 2018, the word “death” took on a new, heavier connotation for our family. On that date, our son and brother, Zack, died and our world changed. Now when I hear the word “death”, I cringe and shrink back a little. I guess it is because of the finality of it. You see, “died” is a single event, tied to a place and time, but “death” is on-going, only to be removed from our thoughts when we take that step ourselves.
We have finished the business of closing accounts and making the proper legal notifications. But with each of those transactions, we felt as if we lost a bit more of him from our lives and we wondered why we were doing it. Aren’t we willingly losing just a little bit more of Zack? We will not see his name each month on bills and statements and will stop being reminded that he was once here. But the truth is that the proof of his life was never in those envelopes.
The proof of his life is in the memories we have of his voice, his laughter, his actions. The pictures at which we gaze for long minutes and smile and cry and feel the ache of his separation from us. We still hear stories of him, but they have become fewer and further between.
The truth is that life continues around us. Zack was, and still is, a huge part of our lives. And, although he impacted many lives, that impact was more like a bump that occurred to them on the street. It may have changed the course of their lives, and possibly saved them from destruction, but most of them will continue on and their memories will fade. But we will carry him with us forever.
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Randy's Thoughts 