Each person reacts to great tragedy differently along a spectrum that, in my mind, is bounded on one end by acting like nothing changed, the other end being that all life and purpose stops. Those at the latter end live a life that is marked by desperation for all things to return to the prior state of normality, and they come across with a fake, forced demeanor, wild-eyed and smiling a plastered-on smile and their mouths are filled with unnatural laughter.
Those at the former end are morose and sad, defined by a single event forever, never looking beyond that event, for all hope is lost forever. Joy has fled far from them. As far they are concerned, the world, and time itself, could end for there is no reason to continue.
Where did I land? Honestly, I can’t be sure. Each day is different, but generally, I have continued, like most people do. No matter how I feel, life goes on. I have a wife, a daughter, and a grandson to consider, therefore the man in me is driven to make sure they are covered and cared for. As a husband, father and grandfather, it is my joyful obligation to provide as much for them as I am able, therefore I must set aside the desire to quit. One death at a time, please.
You may wonder how hard that has been, and some have asked how we have been able to laugh and have fun again. The secular answer is this: No matter how we react, no matter the choices we make, or how we live our lives, whether sad or glad, we will never get Zack back, so we are driven to celebrate his life with ours.
The real answer is that we have hope, and that hope drives us to get up in the morning, fulfill our obligations, love those we can, laugh when we can, and to share that hope with all we can. Our hope is that we will be with him again.
As I write this, I can hear the groans and the sighs, and see the rolling eyes, not just from those who have no faith in God or a hope of redemption, but also from the judgmental Christian community that has God figured out and know that there is no way Zack made it to heaven because he didn’t live the way they think he should have. To both of those groups: Please come to an understanding of grace.
Grace received will give you joy and hope at all times and in all circumstances and mollify all your fears of failure. Grace given will allow you to accept that maybe you don’t know everything about God. Your life will be happier knowing it is not all in your hands.
Randy's Thoughts 